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Archive for the ‘anesthesia’ Category

Magazine the ninth:

Anesthesia Patient Safety Foundation Newsletter

This is the official newsletter of the Anesthesia Patient Safety Foundation. I include it in the list because I always read it cover to cover. It is a great overview and reference for safety issues in anesthesia practice.

Magazine the tenth:

Liberty is simply fantastic. I look forward to its arrival almost as much as Reason. Liberty is a classical liberal journal that is hilariously fun to read. Topics include politics, social conventions, religion, entertainment, and humor. It is very refreshing to read about these things from a different point of view than the “popular magazines” present.

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Magazine the third:

The AANA Journal is the official publication of my professional organization the American Association of Nurse Anesthetists. It is a professional journal in the truest sense of the word, being filled with original research by and for Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetists. Unless you are interested in the anesthesia profession or you are constantly plagued by insomnia, this one might not be for you. I, however, have to stay current, so I slog through it monthly.

Magazine the fourth:

Concealed Carry Magazine

When I began researching concealed carry, naturally I soon found the United States Concealed Carry Association. Their one of a kind publication is a special interest gun magazine, as it deals exclusively with concealed carry issues. Those of you interested in rifles, shotguns, and bazookas should look elsewhere. But if you are interested in safely and legally carrying a concealed firearm, Concealed Carry Magazine should definitely be on your subscription list.

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I got paged last night at 2 AM to go to the hospital to place a labor epidural. The labor nurse and I walked into the patient’s room to find her is some considerable discomfort, as laboring moms often are. I could tell she was not in a great mood, so I figured this would be a great opportunity to test one of my hypotheses:

Garret’s Anesthesia Hypothesis #7: Garret is always more humorous after the epidural is placed than before the epidural is placed.

In order to put this hypothesis to the test, it requires me to tell a few jokes. The patient gave me the perfect opportunity to begin my experiment as she was getting up to sit on the side of the bed:

Patient: "You look kind of young. Have you done one of these before?"
Me: "Yes ma’am, I’ve done two, but they were both on a mannequin."

At this time I received an icy stare of suspicion. 

Patient: "Really?"
Me: "Yes, but don’t worry.  That dummy didn’t complain at all."

Another icy stare with a little squint.  Now I could tell she knew I was kidding around with her and didn’t appreciate it one bit.  After I got my tray open and was ready to prep her back, I asked my standard iodine allergy question (modified for maximum humor):

Me: "I’m going to wash your back off now.  Have you ever had any bad reactions to seafood?"
Patient: "No."
Me: "OK.  I just thought I’d ask, because you look kind of crabby."

This earned me a snort, but I think it was more of a "I’d like to kick you in the nuts" snort than a "man, this guy is hilarious" snort.  Next I gave her the subcutaneous local anesthetic to numb the skin.  This is notoriously the most painful part of the procedure, so I simply warned her:

Me: "OK, I’m going to give you a little shot back here to numb up your skin.  Don’t worry, it will hurt you much more than it hurts me."
Patient: "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I didn’t count this reaction for or against the hypothesis because this is the standard response I get when injecting 1% lidocaine into the tissue of someone’s back.  Anyway, I got the epidural placed and dosed and got her laid back down and propped up nicely on her left side.  As I was preparing to leave the room, the following final exchange took place:

Labor nurse: "Be sure and let me know if you experience any lightheadedness or if you feel like you are going to throw up."
Patient: "OK, why?"
Me: "I often have that effect on the ladies."

At this point, a big beautiful smile spread across the patient’s face, accompanied by a small but definite chuckle.  And that, my friends, is how you know your epidural is working.  Hypothesis confirmed.    

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